Halloweenifying Ourselves for Halloween!

With no Halloween parties to go to, I've had to entertain myself with the Halloweenify option from Google. You need to have a Google+ account with some photos uploaded, and then it's just a matter of choosing between the 'Fun' or 'Spooky' effects. I might have gotten a bit carried away...

Easter in Cornwall - Visiting Polperro, Fowey and Tintagel

We woke up on Easter Sunday to a very grey and rainy looking day. We had a huge cooked breakfast at our B&B before wrapping up warm and heading East this time, to the small town of Polperro.

Polperro is known for being one of the most beautiful villages in Cornwall, and certainly it's my favourite of all the ones we visited. It is on almost all of the itineraries for tour groups, so can get extremely busy, especially in the high season.

We were lucky that it wasn't a very nice day, as it seemed to have stopped lots of people from getting up early, perhaps hoping the rain would stop! So when we arrived we found it almost deserted, and even in the pouring rain it was still a beautiful village.

Easter in Cornwall - Visiting Padstow and Port Isaac

Visiting Cornwall has been on my list of places to see ever since we moved to the UK back in 2010. I'd always meant it to be one of the first places we visited in England, but it was always pushed back in favour of other places, like The Cotswolds and The Lake District, simply because it was just that little bit further away.

We felt that the 5 hour drive or train ride meant a long weekend was out of the question, and our longer holidays always seemed to be dedicated to places in Europe, but we realised we couldn't keep prioritising other places and finally visited in March this year over Easter.

Cornwall is busy most of the year, with Summer being the high season, and definitely the time we wanted to avoid! Whilst Bank Holidays and Public Holidays are also busy, Easter is still in the slight off season so you have room to breathe. Visiting in the off season means you have most of the roads to yourself, which is ideal since some are so tiny that the thought of coming across another car would be a nightmare involving backing up round several tight bends!

We decided to hire a car and drive from London, though the train would also be an excellent way to get there, and certainly would involve less arguments! If you were going to St Ives or Penzance it would be easy to get around with public transport, but we wanted to visit the tiny seaside towns for which a car is essential unless you want to join a tour group.

We left London in the early morning on Good Friday to beat the traffic. I had images in my mind of being stuck for hours in huge queues of people all leaving London but we had a clear ride almost the entire way.

We took the quickest route along the M4 to Bristol and then onto the M5 down towards Cornwall. We went much too fast the entire way there and back, having the complete incorrect information from Google about the speed limits in the UK, so we made it there in record time. Luckily for us we weren't caught on any speed cameras!

Easyjet Fearless Flyer Course - Conquering my Fear of Flying

This past weekend I did the Easyjet Fearless Flyer Course, run by Easyjet and created by businessman Mark Wein who cured his own fear of flying, and Lawrence Leyton, a motivational speaker. The course takes place over a two day period to help those like me who suffer from a sometimes crippling fear of flying.

I mentioned in my post about my Anxiety that when I moved over from New Zealand four years ago, I didn't have a fear of flying. It's something that has developed over time the more flights I have taken. We usually take a trip anywhere between every four to 12 weeks, and as time has gone on I have found myself booking holidays closer to the UK, where the flight time isn't as long. I realised I needed to do something when our plans for Christmas were entirely centred around where we could take the train.

We decided on Paris in the end, since we could take the Eurostar (hardly a compromise really, Paris is so beautiful!), but I knew I needed to do something to help conquer my fear since the underlying levels of Anxiety from flying all the time were starting to affect my everyday life.

Seeing a CBT counsellor has started to help address my Anxiety issues, but I knew I would need something more to help my biggest fear. I downloaded the Easyjet Fearless Flyer e-book, and they then emailed me about a Webinar, which I did, where they give you a brief overview of the course. The thing that most appealed to me was that they do the theory part of the course on a separate day to the experience flight. I know some people would prefer to get it all out of the way on one day, but I knew I wouldn't be able to concentrate on the theory course if I knew I was getting on a plane a few hours later!

If you wanted to do a course where it's all done and dusted on one day, Virgin and British Airways both offer these options. I also chose Easyjet since they're the airline we've probably flown the most with in the last few years and I knew I always felt safe on their planes.

The course was held at the Beales Hotel in Luton. The first day is three hours long and is spent teaching you the basics of how flying works and dispelling the myths we can build up in our minds about the noises we hear and the bumps we feel. An Easyjet Pilot is on hand to answer everyone's questions, and no matter how crazy they might seem to you, they've definitely heard them all before! We were also taught visualizations and techniques to help stop panic and anxiety, and how to stop those negative thoughts from taking over.

The next day I arrived at Luton airport feeling anxious, more anxious than usually as I decided not to take the Beta-Blockers I take to help with flying. It seemed like everyone from the previous day had made the decision to go to the airport and get on the experience flight and there was a mix of excitement and anxiety in the air as we lined up for check-in.

This would be my first ever flight on my own, though I could have chosen to take Bradley with me for an additional fee. I wanted to do it on my own because I knew it would really push my out of my comfort zone completely.

I was calm until we got to the front of the queue where I promptly started to have a huge panic attack. They are obviously used to this reaction and I was sat in a chair by Lawrence and taken through what we had learned yesterday. I have to say I have never calmed down from a Panic Attack so quickly, and it made a huge difference that I was treated as if having a panic attack was completely normal and not made to feel embarrassed at all.

Seeing I would be on my own, I was paired up with some members of the Fearless Flyer staff and a few other lovely ladies who took me through Security and right up onto the plane.

The pilot from the previous day explaining all the noises coming from the engines

Once on board the Pilot from the previous day's presentation stood up front explaining every single noise, bump and even everything the crew was doing throughout the entire flight. If only I could have him on every flight! It really helped to understand what was happening, and halfway through the flight I moved from my usual aisle seat to a seat by the window. I have never been so comfortable on a flight, and the sense of excitement and relief I felt was amazing.

The team gets up as soon as the Seat Belt sign goes off and wanders down the aisle, offering help and making sure everyone is okay. They are happy to stay with anyone who needs help for as long as you need it, it was such a supportive environment.

 I have to take my own selfies when Bradley's not with me!

The entire experience was so fantastic, I was so proud of myself afterwards for facing one of my worst fears head on and I got off a flight feeling really positive, which has never happened before.

This lady was so kind and sat with me the entire flight.

I cannot recommend this course enough, everyone was so kind and positive throughout and my next step is going to be to try and replace my previous flight memories with this one fantastic flight!

After you have completed the course, there is also the option of joining the experience flight on later courses if there is room for a fee. This is such a great idea, especially if you do not have any flights booked after your course, I'm definitely going to see if there's room on the next one for me!

Note: Many of these photos are taken from the Easyjet Fearless Flyer Facebook page. It's so great having a record of my experience!

Something a bit Different - Dealing with Anxiety and Panic Attacks

So this post is quite different to the usual types of posts you'll find on my blog. I started blogging in 2010 when I moved from New Zealand to the UK, and wanted an easy way to keep my friends and family updated with what I was doing and show the various places I was visiting, without having to write super long emails to everyone.

To begin with I found Blogging exciting, I loved posting our photos and remembering places we'd been. I also loved the process of really thinking about what I wanted to say, and was really wanting to give people travel inspiration the same way I found inspiration from similar blogs.

So for a few years I was blogging every trip on a regular basis, uploading the photos and getting posts out in the few days after our return to London from whenever we had travelled to (mostly Europe!). We had only originally intended to stay in  the UK for 2 years, however when the end of Bradley's visa came around, we realised we weren't quite ready to head back to reality, we wanted to stay a bit longer and continue exploring new places and countries.

Because that's the thing about travelling, the more you travel, the more you realise how much more you still have to see. And the more destinations you tick off your list, the longer the bottom of the list gets.

So as the years went on and the more we travelled, I found it hard to get the motivation to continue Blogging. I was taking longer to post photos, and weeks went by before I'd post about a trip. The words weren't coming as easily and each post was taking days to write, when it used to only take a few hours.

It wasn't until a few months ago that I realised I was suffering from a high level of Anxiety. I just wasn't interested in Blogging anymore, it just all seemed to be a bit too hard. So I kept making excuses, until eventually in April, I just stopped completely. It wasn't a conscious choice, I just kept putting it off until I realised it was July and I hadn't posted in over three months. After that it seemed like the break had been too long, and the amount of work to catch up on was overwhelming.

I've also written before in several posts about my fear of flying. When we first moved to the UK I don't recall having any worries about getting on the plane. I'd feel slightly uncomfortable at the thought of being on a plane for such a long time, but then once on board it would be fine. It seemed like the more we flew, the worse it got. I didn't want my fear to get in the way of our dreams, so we continued to travel every eight weeks or so, each time finding myself getting more and more anxious, until I eventually started having Panic Attacks before getting on the plane, with this escalating to a few days/weeks before each flight.

It got to the stage where I was in an almost constant state of Anxiety and I started having Panic Attacks in all kinds of places, not just on a plane. I could be sitting at my desk at work, walking home from the tube or just having dinner, when I'd feel my heart start pounding, my hands start shaking, I'd get lightheaded and nauseous. When you have a Panic Attack, it means high levels of adrenaline are being released into your body. More blood is sent to your limbs, to enable you to escape the situation but it means you get lightheaded. Your digestive system shuts down so you feel sick, and most likely you'll need to go to the bathroom (this definitely happens to me!).

A Panic Attack is essentially your body reacting to what it feels is a dangerous situation, it goes into Fight or Flight mode. It can't tell the difference between a real or imagined fear, and it means you become super sensitive to situations other people might have no issues with. 

A Panic Attack usually only lasts up to 20 minutes, but I feel the after affects for hours afterwards. I am usually exhausted and starving, with my body having expended all its energy and needing to relax and refuel. I'd then also get really angry at myself for having a Panic Attack and that I wasn't 'normal'. I felt that I was ruining our trips before they even started.

I decided I needed to get some help, since this was now affecting my everyday life, and I stopped looking forward to travelling because I knew it was going to start out with a huge panic attack. So I spoke to my Doctor, who referred me to a CBT Counsellor through the NHS. CBT is all about helping you deal with your issues by changing your thinking patterns, almost stepping outside yourself and analysing your thoughts and seeing if there is another way you could deal with the situation. So far I am finding it really helpful and I am hopeful that by the end of my sessions, I will be able to control my anxiety to the point when I can get on a plane without panicking, or just deal with everyday situations in a different way.

I've realised my anxiety seems to stem from situations where I have no control, and where I would be trapped and unable to escape if something was to go wrong. I have discovered I have a Catastrophic way of thinking. Anytime I have a problem or issue to deal with, I instantly think of the absolute worst case scenario and convince myself that is the definite outcome.

I am also finding that the more I keep myself relaxed, with things like yoga and meditation, the more my anxiety levels stay at a lower level. London is an extremely fast paced city to live in, and I think the longer we've lived here, the more my anxiety has steadily increased. 

I've been writing draft posts which will be posted shortly. For me taking it slowly seems to be the key since I've had 6 months of travel to catch up on!

So slowly I can feel my Anxiety levels going down, and whilst I don't think they'll ever be at a 'normal' level, I'm learning how to deal with them to stop them taking over my life.

If you suffer from Panic Attacks it's good to know that Panic Attacks are extremely common, and though they can sometimes feel scary, they are not dangerous and treatment can help you, you just need to find the right treatment for you.